Pressing on

I am getting a new office roommate, so to speak. So, I prayed and asked God, as I always do, to send me an amazing, dynamic, encouraging, Christian friend to work with. He is sending me someone who is so totally not of the Christian faith it is not even funny. My first instinct was to quit my job, just take it to the house and never look back. I wanted to run away and sit down and cry because I am so not up for this persecution right now. I can’t even believe I just said that considering all the persecution Jesus endured for me, but there it is, brutal honesty.

Then, a still small voice spoke to me yet again, and said, I wouldn’t give you this if I didn’t think you were up for it. And then I really wanted to cry because I am amazed that he could ever think I could be a part of his plan. I am amazed that he could use me and wants to use me because I know the real me. But the thing is, he does the work. We just have to show up.

That’s when I saw this little pink jewelry box that says princess with little broken sequins on it. It sits in my office as a reminder of why I am here. There are days that I just want to go home and be a mommy to my own kids and not feel the hurts and sorrows of all the kids I work with, but then I see the pink box. It reminds me of Lydia. Lydia was in one of my groups. She is a precious, smart and resilient young lady. She is strong. Her sunshine was that we were having our group and her cloud was that she didn’t get to see her mommy any more. Before Christmas, Lydia came in with a present. . . for me. It wasn’t wrapped up perfectly with a beautiful bow, but it was wrapped by the hands of a child. She was so excited to give me her present and to see me open it. Inside was the pink jewelry box that said “princess” and had a crown on top. The sequins were loose and broken and I knew that she had given me something that was very special to her. I fought back tears with the realization that all I had to do was show up and love as Jesus loved me. They will know we are Christians by our Love! That isn’t so hard is it?

So, I am not going to retreat, but I am going to keep showing up and loving and watch God do His thing! In the words of one of my favorite Casting Crowns songs. . . “How refreshing to know you don’t need me, how amazing to find that you want me. . .

I am humbled.

Beverly