Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Here Kitty Kitty. . .

This post has been a long time coming as the actual event nearly put me and Cameron in an institution or perhaps the parents Hall of Fame (ahem Shame). See that sweet little face snuggling the kitty up there? Well let me explain the look of terror you see in the Kitty's eyes.

One Saturday afternoon, as I was leisurely cleaning the house(that always puts me in a great mood :( ), Cameron comes in from the garage screaming like he has lost a limb. Since we were still nursing his dislocated elbow, I just knew we were headed back to the ER. Kurt was not home so I was going to have to TRY and be the calm one. I ran to see what has happened and while Cameron appeared to be in one piece, he was still screaming in such a way that my heart seriously stopped. When I finally got him calmed down, he explained that he had been playing with Kurt's tools and accidentally dropped a screwdriver on the stray baby kitten we had brought home just two days earlier to nurse its injured leg. Whew. I mean how bad could a little screwdriver hurt, right? I thought something terrible had happened. Cameron kept saying through tears, "You're going to kill me. I am so sorry." Okay Chill out kid. I am sure it is okay.

So I head out to the garage to check on baby kitty. Upon first glance the kitty looked fine. No big deal, right? Wellll. . .upon closer inspection, I realize it was the electric screwdriver and maybe, just maybe, Cameron didn't drop it as the screwdriver was at the kitten's side. I bent down and pulled the screwdriver and well, it was stuck. To say I was freaking out, would be an understatement. Now you need to understand that crisis are not my thing, AT ALL. I jumped back and tried to gather myself because I was not sure I could get the thing out of the kitten without throwing up. I cried. I prayed. And then with some of the best parenting I have ever done, I ran in the house and confronted my crying son. "What have you done? Are you freaking crazy?? Oh my gosh. You need professional help!" (yes people I said it.) He's crying. I'm crying. He said, "I know. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I wasn't trying to hurt it. I didn't think it would work."

Afraid of what I might do, I put Cameron in his room and went back to the kitten with resolve, determined to remove the object that had impaled this poor, defenseless animal. I grabbed the screwdriver and pulled. It came out more easily than I had expected. Now at this point, Jackson has heard me screaming at his brother and has come to see what all the hub bub is about. Now is where some more good parenting comes in. I asked Jackson to pick up the kitten and have a look at it. (He has no idea what has been going on.) The kitten was fine. There were no open wounds oozing with blood or guts. (Thankfully. And don't judge me. I told you I don't do blood.)

Now you need to know that Cameron thought he had impaled the kitten too. So, we had to take the kitten in to show him that it was okay. During my tirade I had managed to ground him for the rest of his life from pretty much everything but breathing air. (Kurt keeps saying I tend to overreact, but I don't see it :)

We have managed to get over this unfortunate accident and it would appear that little boys are curious and do some really crazy things for reasons that even they don't understand. Cameron and Ben 10 (kitty) have become great friends and all is well that ends well, right?

Here's to many more years of great parenting moments and learning as I go.


Thursday, December 4, 2008

If I were on a sitcom. . .

Have you ever had one of those days. . .or months where you seriously start to wonder if your life is a pilot for a sitcom? Welll, I am having one of those months and it got me to thinking, if I were on a sitcom what would it be. I think that I would be a modern day Lucille Ball (which she can be so annoying, but always had a way of getting herself into such hilarious situations). For example, last week, while trying to take some initiative with car care (Kurt was so proud) I decided to run my car through the automatic car wash. They had added these new doors to the car wash that read "Doors open automatically." O.K. Whatever. I drive in and the car wash does its thing. The last cycle is completed and I wait. . . for the "door to open automatically". It doesn't. I pull forward and back up. Still nothing. Have I told you that I hate enclosed spaces. I seriously start to feel like I might hyperventilate. I call my friend Rachel and tell her I am stuck in the car wash and being the super supportive friend that she is, she laughs. . hysterically! Thank you Rachel. She then suggests that I blow the horn, which I do and she laughs even more. So while I continue blowing the horn Kurt calls. "Hey honey, what are you doing?" I say, "Well I am freaking out! I am stuck in the car wash and have been in here for about 5 minutes!" He laughs. So not funny. Did you hear the part where I said I am FREAKING out?

My knight in shining armor says that he will come to my rescue, but it will take him about 10 minutes to get there. I continue honking the horn. Still nothing. Where is that dang attendant? Finally, and for no apparent reason, the door lifts and I have been set free, but as you can imagine, by now I am more than a little irritated. I tell my friend Rachel (still on the phone supporting me) to start praying because I am going to find the car wash attendant and I am sure this will shock some of you, but sometimes I find it difficult to act Christ-like :) I find him standing outside next to the car wash, probably laughing his head off, tell him about my peril in the carwash, with all the sweetness I could muster, which wasn't much to which he replies, "Well, did the door finally open and let you out?"

Oh the things that ran through my head at that moment, "No, I am merely a figment of your imagination" or "No, I just rammed my Tahoe through the stupid thing and here I am!" Of course it did you precious silly man. Then, he offers me a token for a free car wash for my trouble. Are you kidding me??

Oh the fun my friends and family have at my expense. At the end of the day I went to pick up my boys from school and my friend Jenny met me in the hall singing "At the Carwash".

Stay tuned for more stories of mayhem, with new tales developing daily!

Hope you have a good one!