Thursday, September 25, 2008

Pressing on

I am getting a new office roommate, so to speak. So, I prayed and asked God, as I always do, to send me an amazing, dynamic, encouraging, Christian friend to work with. He is sending me someone who is so totally not of the Christian faith it is not even funny. My first instinct was to quit my job, just take it to the house and never look back. I wanted to run away and sit down and cry because I am so not up for this persecution right now. I can’t even believe I just said that considering all the persecution Jesus endured for me, but there it is, brutal honesty.

Then, a still small voice spoke to me yet again, and said, I wouldn’t give you this if I didn’t think you were up for it. And then I really wanted to cry because I am amazed that he could ever think I could be a part of his plan. I am amazed that he could use me and wants to use me because I know the real me. But the thing is, he does the work. We just have to show up.

That’s when I saw this little pink jewelry box that says princess with little broken sequins on it. It sits in my office as a reminder of why I am here. There are days that I just want to go home and be a mommy to my own kids and not feel the hurts and sorrows of all the kids I work with, but then I see the pink box. It reminds me of Lydia. Lydia was in one of my groups. She is a precious, smart and resilient young lady. She is strong. Her sunshine was that we were having our group and her cloud was that she didn’t get to see her mommy any more. Before Christmas, Lydia came in with a present. . . for me. It wasn’t wrapped up perfectly with a beautiful bow, but it was wrapped by the hands of a child. She was so excited to give me her present and to see me open it. Inside was the pink jewelry box that said “princess” and had a crown on top. The sequins were loose and broken and I knew that she had given me something that was very special to her. I fought back tears with the realization that all I had to do was show up and love as Jesus loved me. They will know we are Christians by our Love! That isn’t so hard is it?

So, I am not going to retreat, but I am going to keep showing up and loving and watch God do His thing! In the words of one of my favorite Casting Crowns songs. . . “How refreshing to know you don’t need me, how amazing to find that you want me. . .

I am humbled.


Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Playing with the Boys. . .

Boys. Boys. Boys. I love boys! And frankly I always have. Nothing against girls. I love them too, but I have always found boys very amusing. Maybe it is because I am a girly girl that they amuse me so.

This weekend my house was full of boys. Actually, it is pretty much full of boys every weekend. Jackson and Cameron always want friends over, and one friend is never enough. Now you know my house is small, but I say the more the merrier. Growing up, because my dad was an elementary school principal, the last thing he wanted was a house full of kids all weekend (and I so totally get that now!), so I vowed my door would always be open. I love that these boys love coming to our house and want to hang out right where we are. I love that they talk to us about the day to day drama at their schools and I hope they always do. Because (and Kurt would tell you I am not lying) I want to know that Tanya likes Tyler; and that Tyler doesn’t like Tanya. I like hearing them dream about where they will go to college and what professional sports they are going to play. I love watching them jump on the trampoline in the pouring rain and hearing their hysterical laughter break the quiet. I know I have said it before, but I LOVE THIS JOB! It is what I was born to do. There is NEVER a minutes doubt in my mind.

I don’t want to miss a single hilarious, stressful, joyful or drama filled moment!

Jackson after a pie in the face.

Cameron at flag football

Jackson and our friend Jack Jack with the down marker. He loves Jackson and follows him everywhere. I loved this sweet picture!

Stay tuned for more pics of the the cutest kids ever! :)


Friday, September 5, 2008

Bring on the Cotton Candy!

Well it’s not the Grundy County Auction, but it is the White County Fair… the biggest event to come to White County every year. There is just something about life in a small town that I absolutely love. It’s really funny that at one time all I could think about was leaving, and now I can’t imagine leaving what is essentially a really BIG extended family, for better or worse, that is our small town community.

I loved the fair as a child and my kids have followed in my cotton candy eating footsteps. They love the lights, the rides, the sounds and the smells. That’s right folks, I said the smells, which consist of cow and horse manure and grilled burgers! Last Saturday night the fair opened and Cameron was begging to go. I told him we weren’t going on Saturday and he said, “well I know we can’t go tonight, but Mommy you have to just drive by and let me see it with the lights on.” I can so remember the anticipation I always felt as we would drive by and see the lights all twinkling. It’s fun to see my boys experience some of the experiences I had as a child.

This year both my boys participated in the school track and field events and had a great time. Cameron did the beanbag toss and well, he tossed it like a pro. Jackson ran the 100-yard dash and the 200-yard relay and was a standout in both events. I, of course, was cheering like he was about to win the Gold medal in the Olympics. He actually got 4th place in the 100-yard dash and his team got 2nd in the relay. These events are countywide so he was really proud of himself and of course we were proud too.

Jackson was as quick as a whip in his two events.

Cameron threw the bean bag with great skill (hee hee). I can't wait until his age group gets to run because he is a fast little dude!

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

A moment with my Father. . .

I had a God moment not so long ago. I love those moments when he uses your kids to really teach you a lesson he's been teaching all along, but for slow learners like me, he gives you a hands on lesson, so you can see what it really looks like.

Jackson is so like me and he is highly suggestible. He had seen something on the news that upset him, so of course, he dreamed about it. He woke up shaking and breathless and immediately came to the place where he knew he would find peace and comfort... Mommy.

I immediately got up and went into the living room to snuggle him up and try to settle him down. I pulled him into my lap and prayed with him and as he settled into my arms, I felt his breathing return to its normal rhythmic pattern as he had fallen back to sleep.

I felt powerful! I love that. I love that he knows he can come to me for comfort. I love that he seeks me out when he is afraid and that he trusts me and believes that I will keep him safe. As all these thoughts ran through my mind, God spoke into my worry-filled heart..."I love that too. I love it when you come to me with all your worries and fear and let me give you the rest you so need. Trust me. The love you feel for your children pales in comparison to the love I feel for mine. Climb into my lap and tell me all about it."

Are we lucky or what? So, I am taking my worries to my Father today because he is ABLE!

Love you all!